Opening 17 - A big hill or not a big hill? That is the question!

Greetings unofficial openers! Seeing as I'm up here at The Edinburgh Fringe Festival it would have seemed sensible to get myself up Arthur's Seat and do a bit of unofficial opening al fresco, particularly as it dominates the scenery to the South and East of the city. It's perhaps the city's most famous landmark, surrounded as it is, in Holyrood Park about a mile from the castle. My problem, of course, is that I'm too lazy!

This is Arthur's Seat, as viewed from Edinburgh Castle. Apparently the easiest access is from its East side. I certainly couldn't be bothered to find out.

Seeing as there was absolutely no way I was ever going to climb it I was going to need an alternative. When I set myself an opening challenge, it has to be seen through. What I needed was an alternative Arthur's Seat. My first instinct was to look for a Seat Alhambra owned by anybody called Arthur and simply stand there and open it as he got out of the car.

Could this be Arthur's Seat?

This was also problematic as I didn't have the patience to ring everyone called Arthur in the Edinburgh area or indeed approach the Seat dealerships and ask them if they had sold their quality (and reasonably priced) people carriers to any men called Arthur.. What was I to do? it was such a quandary - but then, eureka! I hit on the rather ambitious idea of contacting Edinburgh's second most famous Arthur... Arthur Smith!

Comedy's favourite grump

Arthur can truly be called an Edinburgh legend. Surely he sits down sometimes and if he does, he's sitting on Arthur's seat. All I had to do was track him down. My flatmate Susan had appeared at his live gig "Arthur Smith's Pi**ed Up Chat Show" in The Pleasance Dome and said I should contact him. I didn't have an email address or a phone number and he could possibly have been a little tricky to actually find. After a couple of days of fruitless Smithsearching I gave up, went to the Loft Bar and got drunk. Fortunately, he'd had the same idea, we talked briefly and two nights later, there I was, unofficially opening the chair he was sat on!

Arthur Smith (Centre back), his sidekick, Derek (Really called Phil and who I played poker with the night before) to his right, one of the show's assistants to Arthur's left and yours truly, scissors in one hand, mic in the other to the front. I realise it looks a bit like I'm holding them to his throat, but that's just perspective, honest.

I also got to meet Cornelius Lysaght (who was one of the other guests) who is a thoroughly nice chap. Check back here for more quality unofficial opening soon and spread the word about this blog! Let's go unofficial opening crazy!